[PART 3] I screwed up

Today, should be the last day before I could say I've been in for the internship for 2 weeks.
Sounds so like beating around the bush right?
Why can't I say it in a simpler way.
"Tomorrow I'm officially 2 weeks as a practical training student"
Isn't that easier to fathom?

Today I screwed up, I screwed up my part in the vox pop.
What is vox pop? Google it. I don't wanna elaborate.
We were supposed to find random people and interview them.
Extracting opinions from their brilliant minds whatever~
It's about health issue, obviously.
Because Thalassaemia doesn't give a promising outcome, I changed to Diabetes.
And it turn out...it sucks.
Sucks out my soul.
Every question turned out to be the same, um I mean, bearing the same answer.
With and without realizing I continued doing it over and over again without changing anything or trying to make it better.
It's a template that is being said by everyone, and that is not a good work.

The questions, how can I be so careless.
I left one of the most important part.
WHAT is the outcome of Diabetes?
WHO are the people that are likely to get this?
WHY do people get Diabetes?
WHEN will Diabetes attack a person?
HOW to curb this problem?

I felt like a pile of shit the first moment, but then again, if I didn't make this mistake, I wouldn't realize.
I know Mr. Producer will not be happy with this, I'm sorry to be such a slow snail.
I just hope I could improve and be a lot more quick-witted and react to stuffs as timely as it should be.
Like I've said before, I don't have that 'Dare to Fail' or 'Whatever' attitude when I do something wrong.
It will haunt me like the biggest tsunami coming my way.
Okay I'm exaggerating.
Maybe because I'm just that jerk that can't accept myself doing the wrong thing.
So I screwed up my mind.
Hey, manusia memang la buat salah, kalau dah sedar tu ubahlah *monolog dalaman*

The vox pop, mine turned out to be super horrid.
Super duper ultra kilomegagigaterrabyte awful.
I wanna do it again.
I wish I can do it again.
Lucky we got another one this Saturday.
Hurm.

It's true, I should've been more humble.
I should've asked more, no matter who they are.
Sis are right, she told me
"You can show me any of your questions anytime, because sometimes we ourselves couldn't see the weakness in our work because we are too engrossed/too isolated in our own world"

Yeah, you are right sis, I forgot this one important aspect that you are one of my best mentor in studying, making questions, making draft for essays and whatnot.
This important aspect, I forgot.
And I screwed up today.
But in the end, the greater gifts are to know that I screwed up,
And to appreciate everyone around me, rekindle the old times
No matter how far I go, no matter how old I grow
I am still the baby of the house.
And I am still very green in my journey to make a base in this world.

I know I have to walk by myself now.
But please, be the light that is standing faithfully by the roadside,
So that I could see a better view
And stand beside the shining ray when I am afraid of the dark...


Ya Allah...rahmatilah hamba-Mu ini dan jadikanlah hari-hari mendatangku lebih baik dari hari-hari yang sebelumnya. Terangi hati hamba-Mu ini seperti hati para rasul-Mu. Kuatkan dan tabahkan hati aku dalam menangkis gelora sendiri. Dekatkanlah hatiku kepada ilmu, berikanlah aku semangat yang dahagakan pengetahuan sehingga aku tidak berasa lelah dan beralah bila menemui kegagalan. Dekatkanlah hatiku dengan-Mu, agar dengan itu ianya tidak berasa begitu susah bila dicuit ujian-Mu...


Amin...