Today (06 Mar) was...strange.
I woke up with a feeling like, not loving myself enough.
I don't think it ever happened to me before, but the feeling was, not good.
Not desirable. I tried to keep myself busy. So after breakfast at about 10am, I started to pack up recycle stuffs that I managed to collect these past few days. Kerah bangah untuk tolong load in barang dalam kereta and also untuk tolong angkut bila dah sampai sana sebab, apa gunanya ada abang berkudrat besar kan? Haha...
The Alam Flora recycle place is located near Semua House. Well, tempat jatuh lagi dikenang inikan pula tempat bermain. Finding it was a bit challenging, rupanya ada simpang yang lagi dekat untuk sampai *dush*. Masuk je jalan area Masjid India/Munshi Abdullah tu, kereta banyak and I cursed like a sailor. Weh, tak tahannya la hai kalau memandu di Kuala Lumpur ni semua benda rasa nak maki. But my kind of cursing have never involve names of reproductive organ atau haiwan haram tu so I don't know how to describe, makian sopan? Not so la but a bit hehe...
But the day was too heaty, the road was too busy, as we went back home, I got a mild headache that makes me feel like going to sleep. So after Zohor, I thought of checking out the TV sebab kononnya ada rancangan istimewa ulangtahun ke-35 perkahwinan YDPA, tetapi malangnya, tak ada pula. Tengok iklan rupanya esok, 07 Mar.
Dalam pukul 3 lebih tu dah memang mengantuk + sakit kepala so I fell asleep. Bila bangun, hamik ko, dah pukul 6.10pm. Sempat pula tengok phone jap sebelum Asar (ish3), Umai, kawan trip Jepunku 2019 kahwin hari ni. She is like the sweetest girl, ayu, cantik, pandai, tinggi, fit, kerja bagus, sopan, hormat orang, stylish, rajin, high spirited, berani, organized...well semua yang perfect is definitely Umai! I was mildly sad because I felt like the guy is taking away Wangsa Maju's sweetheart but hey, as long as Umai's happy, I'll be happy for her too, I guess. She was lucky to have found love at the age of 20, couple for 5 years and got married on the 6th year.
So after Asar came Maghrib and when the night falls, time flies even faster. I tried to continue on neating the bookshelf, but not much so ada lah dalam 5% kemajuan kot untuk hari ni. Maklumlah sambil mengemas sambil tengok drama and then teringat I haven't collected my 15K steps so habis masa dok lari setempat pula from 10pm-12am.
I found my art class jug drawing, actually dari dulu macam pernah nak buang tapi dok simpan lagi. I think now is already the time to let go kot. It's not like I should keep it for my anak cucu cicit to see, it's not that great. Cuma adalah autograf pelukis Zaim Darulaman sebab dulu Cikgu seni aku jemput dia untuk ajar teknik lukisan.
Sambil menyambil berkemas masuk IG, see some updates, do some updates. Then nampak post salah seorang calon yang tak menjadi. He looks good but, ntah lah. Tetiba teringat dia pernah tolong something yang aku kata nak belanja tapi sampai ke sudah tak belanja lagi. Kadang-kadang aku rasa aku ni terlalu cepat berjanji bila happy, dan terlalu banyak bertangguh bila nak memberi orang (contohnya Ncik Man call centre dah berapa tahun aku tangguh nak bagi magnet Perth kat dia wehhh). Dan masih belum pergi jumpa Pakcik Ridzuan yang dulu Mama pesan suruh jumpa. Aku tak tahu macam mana nak mula. Kadang bila aku fikir balik, mungkin benda-benda yang aku tangguh ni yang menjadi penghalang rezeki, pengurang bahagia, selalu susah hati. Banyak hutang aku dengan manusia tak langsai. Mengaji Al-Waqi'ah setiap hari pun tak guna kalau hak dan amanah manusia tak settle.
I should find time soon. To settle all three before I begin my class :( At least kalau tiba-tiba sampai ajal tak ada lah tergantung hutang tu semua. I iz sad.
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