[PART 4] I screwed up

Yesterday, I really really screwed up.
Seems like my biggest fear had fallen upon me.
How stupid, stupid was I yesterday, careless, careless like hell.
I was just that oblivious to everything important, and I seemed like could not juggle that little responsibility.
Than how can I survive in this world? How can this be possible?
I know everyone make mistakes but when I do, I see the world ending.
I see MY world ending. Felt so useless...and guilty.

I can say that this won't happen again but how sure can I be?
People don't wanna hear empty promises but wants to see the act itself.
I screwed up, I have fallen, and I'm not sure whether I can stand straightly ever again.
The big part of it is the guilt feeling, another is the useless feeling in me.
I swear I want this period to end quick.
I don't wanna be the burden anymore. It's disheartening to screw other people lives too.

And with all the unexpected circumstances and tonnes of advice that I got from home too,
I swear again I want this to end right away.
I can't wait to be a housewife, just housewife. (to a good person)
Maybe if I can write I want to be a columnist (wah berangan)
Whatever, but really, this kind of work, for a careless and oblivious person like me, is a big NO.