Journey

Do you remember?

When you were small you were so eager to grow up.
You want to work like your mum, you want to wear pretty and stylish clothes.
You want to have a date. You want to go to college.
You want to wear make up. You want to wear high heels.
You want to be that prettiest model in the magazine.
You want to get married.
You want to study abroad. You want to have a romantic vacation at 4 seasons countries.
You want to have prom nights. You want those dreamy looking dresses to go to ball and dance with the coolest looking guy.

You hate school. You wish it would end up soon.
You hate the school uniform, it is so boring and messy. Can't it be cuter?
You hate rules, you wonder why life has got to have so many rules.
You hate it when you can't have sleepovers, can't go out with guy friends, even when they were not your special boyfriend.
You hate it when you were scolded for coming home late.
You hate it when people can't understand your divine relationship with your friends.
You stop talking to your mum for days, but eventually things get normal again and you start making the same thing and it goes the same way for another few times.

School ends. Everyone says the best thing is going to university.
It has been plastered in our minds that the time to fall in love and go for dates begins when we start our life in university.

You were eager, you wonder the truth about it.
Soon you have crushes, endless crushes; if I may say.
None really gets to the deepest part of your heart, you were infatuated, thought about him for some time and new crushes begins when you knew the previous one already have a special girlfriend. How shallow.
But at this time you're still very green, you let yourself be immensely in love with some Tom or Harry, without knowing any purpose, you want to be with someone. There was no 'future'. There was just 'present'.

You graduated. You start working. And you started to miss those days.
From school years till university years.
But you still love working, mainly because you're going to have money out of that.

You start to patch the old things up again. You start to understand why life have so many rules.
You start to secure your heart even more, from facing another pain that previously caused by your own stupidity.
You start to find that life is not as pretty and dreamy as it was 15 years ago.
You start to love your mum even more because only now that all her previous dictatorship make so many sense.
You start to take some steps, little by little, to actually find what you really want.
Because now, you can't really understand what have you been doing all this while, up until now.
You start to find that family is the best thing in this world.
You start to think of building your own.
You start to think about so many things you want to do, and that you can do.
You start to ditch the lesser important dreams and started chasing the realistic and achievable ones.

And one day,
when you have already achieved many things that you want.Like already built your own family, being 100% financially independent, having a circle of trustworthy friends, it is worthy to look back and cherish the hard times behind.
Because, being on top of the hill starts with the first step at the bottom.
No matter how much bruises you get, no matter how tired you were,
when you are already at the peak, it's the journey that brings you there.
It's the journey, that you will secretly miss.